I do not need to compose anything about you…
There are so many descriptions of the same theme
where you are expressed in varying degrees of dissection
yet an example of…
I will not pretend to know your knowledge…
There are so many competing ways
which are all reacting to the same ‘model’?
as a gift
they are shared
as soft screams
I will not be stolen by our brutality
which grieves in silence of its learned dejected shame
gone, only when reached by that recognition
loaded with all that is hurtful, instead of asking why…
‘ruined’ by handling the deadliest, the begrudge of wonderings …
Which completely loves you?
Is not that the ‘Universe’ speaking?
I may be confused about the term, The Human Condition, and its relationship to unnecessary suffering. Since, I have been experiencing great difficulty absorbing the commonplace response of “you need the bad times to understand and appreciate the good times”. It is not my objective to naively jump into utopian fantasies of consistent happiness, since that would be an unrealistic, foolish extreme, but I do strongly believe that there needs to be a separation, distinction, between what is experienced as, The Human Condition versus unnecessary suffering.
In my opinion, The Human Condition is an inevitable one. Even if hypothetically, one is existing in an utopian society, you will still experience the fear of death, the fear and loss of your ability to do things that you once could, the lamenting loss of others, the individualistic complexities of your identity being thrown into the milieu of other individualistic complexities, and your very small being amongst the oblivious grandeur – mysterious wonders of the universe/environment/nature… So regardless of a utopian society, regardless of our want to control the universe/environment/nature and the technologies created for our neverending confrontation of this reality, the small comfortable conveniences created will never absolve The Human Condition. There will always be discomfort, bad times to inevitably endure.
The very thought that man made conditions (unnecessary suffering – which can be solved far easier than the conditions presented by universe/environment/nature) is a suffering that is to be equated, respected and regarded in the same degree, this brings me to a standstill of infuriating disgust. And when I say man made conditions, I am not referring to our complexities, I am referring to the blatant display/processes of shit. Shit as in the insidiously obvious inequalities of treating ourselves and others. Shit as in the insidiously obvious infantile systems set-up to destroy ourselves by our own hands.
It is unnecessary suffering when 80 people are as rich as half the world population (collectively). It is unnecessary suffering when there are laws that are in place to condone the lawful execution of people who are women, girls, children, black, brown, queer, lesbian bisexual, transgender, old, differently abled etc. Etc, because I am quite sure there will be some new way of separating oneself from another because:superiority.
When confronted with this thought of “you need the bad times to understand and appreciate the good times” because, The Human Condition, I think about my own current condition. I was invited to a friend’s house for dinner. I had not had a meal in a day (unnecessary suffering). So I gladly accepted my friend’s invitation of dinner at his place because I was hungry (human condition). After dinner, we parted ways, and I reflected on the evening. I did not remember the taste of the meal, which I am sure was sumptuous; my friend expresses a lot of love in his cooking. I could not taste this love that he artfully created because I was hungry, and all I felt was the gripe of my insides needing food. So it did not matter what the food was or tasted like. It did not matter if it was nutritiously good for me, and as it was, the healthiness of the meal was lost because of how it was devoured. I had to wonder then, how exactly was this “good time” appreciated enough to make me better?
This whole concept is explicable rubberish when discussing unnecessary suffering. May be when the world, the entire world is not hungry anymore, and if The Human Condition survives the impending wrath of the universe/environment/nature, may be those survivors would look to this time in history and understand it as backward stupidity, and appreciate that they did not exist in these capricious dark ages.
tHE IdeA that someone
can know you is impossible.
your very name
if someone wants to know
more than the surface.
I met you in 2012
you wore mismatch Converses
maybe that was meant to be a purpose
I did not care about their purpose
I cared more about knowing.
In a protective way
I still wanted to know more
more than mismatch shoes
the invalid account
for which does not tell
allow anything other
than your perspective
from what is learnt
in what is believed
by our own poison
by what we are told.
Maybe self possessed
sorts for reasons
when looking out
is a measure for not
not fall into this sea
flies cover my home
because I’ve died several times?
It must be in itself, within itself?
As a whole other story
one which cannot be edited?
It is a coliseum which does not even exist:
which cannot speak?
A nothingness which means nothing
a line that none of us understand…
I understand as I lay my mess here?
Is that the absorption my body holds
that begs deeply
tide siren sigh
exhausted by hunger: a desire
to see her difficult look
which to me resembles
we can look at each other
with such suspicions
eyes that are sharply rich
with a much effective presence
a dark yellow dance of wanting
maybe this is hope
No one ever asked:
What do you want to do with your life?
No one ever envisioned her
beyond the thought: bearer of….
When she finally realized
that loving yourself exists
She was joyful
She did not have the thought:
No chance to see a lock of loose
hair fully grey to decide color…
Still peeking, even while it hurts
still wandering like it is meant to be
when the worse is not even death…
A craving carried in such unknown
can you remember how to stand why?
Such a certain frequency
affecting that every piece of being… ?